Monday, 31 August 2015

Short reflective accounts of significant life experiences.

I remember tad one particular day, when I was having a very bad and sad day .I could not give my best in my examinations within deadlines and I was regretting it. A lots of things was going on in my mind, I was frustrated with myself and everything which I had that time. I could not have scored good marks in my examination  because I had done lots of hard work with dedication still I was not get good result which I were wished. Same time, my friends were not sound good enough as they are angry with me for some issues or reasons which I cannot say as even I could not find that what was the exact reason behind that and what was d reason was anyways but it was painful, not good. The environment at home was also not favourable to me as my parents were scolding me and had a controversial issue too on my bad result and had a heated argument too regarding my examination results. I was so disappointed with myself  that time, I thought that I cannot make anyone happy in my life I was the stigma on the face of the society and then they stopped and at last they said  that what is your problem why were you not trying to improve your studies  you had good tutions everything which you want then why you are so careless  about your exams your upcoming future  didn’t  you think that if you had scored good marks you got appreciated by everyone .from  your teachers , your friends etc  go n study n focus on up coming examination now you will have to get good marks ok.. I said yes mom n dad I will do my best next time and  then I came into my room I was crying n  felt that ,  I hurt my parents who gave me lots of love and I was not even make them happy just shame on me I felt guilty I was crying I was not all in good mood . after that mom came to me n said me in soft voice that if your father scolds you that dosen’t mean that he don’t care for u even he cares a lot that’s y he said all ok so get ready for dinner we had dinner just came n join us . but I said that I did not want to come for dinner as I was not hunger still mom is mom she said if u don t eat then I was not going to eat now its up to u what do you want n den I said ok mom I come then we all had dinner together but in front of dad still I was frightened   and also there is a little fear of him as he stats again to scold me . But he didn’t say any word. After dinner mom make him  understand me n realised him that it was just a mistake by me  next time I will do my best etc.  then finally he stopped . they  had gone slept. N den I went to my bed n prayed to god n explain to him all tad just babbling to myself n then I was slept .  on next day, I wake up with a new day and as usual get ready for school . van was standing near my campus gate I went to school with memories  which was happened in previous day all things were going on my mind . the school environment also not gud for me that day    as teacher also scolds us for not  got good marks in exams. Oh god now where to go to get safe from all dis I thought tad time i wished for some time all get disappeared to refresh my mind. I was getting those suicidal feelings as I was not enough mature to judge what was going on  why everyone scolds me did I  make a blunder. But I was regretting tad time so much that if I could have studies more to get good marks den I do not faced all tad that’s all my mistake  after tad school bell rang  I went home by van . after reached home , I done my assignment and had lunch . after tad my campus friends had come n said my mom to sent me to play . my mom gave me permission to go with them. there was a small park in my campus . I sat in the park and was watching people there who spending good time there .. my friends said me to play with them but I was not interested to play with them so I refused to play with them I said that I want to sat there after sometime when I felt good I will come n join u all ok they ask me y u r so upset what the reason was. I said there is nothing n I think in my mind what was to say as my school friends r angry with me for some reason n my parents scolds me n my teachers r also scolds me . all they r not happy to me. But I said no I had little headache so I was not feel better. U all go n play as soon as I felt good I will come. She had gone. after it I saw an old couple sitting alone . their aged skin n sad n old were saying about some grief which I do not get understand . but I felt they r not happy as they were sad . I recognised them they were living in my neighbourhood. I felt positive suddenly  the specs of aunts get drowned on ground . she was not able to get it. Den I went to her n pick her specs n gave her she smiled to me n said thanks beta . I smile back to her den I approached to talk to them and I came to know that they had a son of age 24 whom they lost 9 7yrs back , because of accident . since then they were alone. I felt very bad to heard their story . I get emotional n also felt sad that’ how much sad they r and in and they said that they felt happy to talking to me n wished that I would get some more time to know about them I get attached them emotionally . I became careful towards them as  felt they had very sad days along with them but I was get through a deep thought tad they had lots of pain still they r happy there had no any complain with god while I had so much complaints even I didn’t want to enjoyed my life I had not gone through all tad. Then I realised I have to live but  why I am living / answer to mine self I am trying to keep my parents happy be their world give them so much happiness n also spread happiness around d world . n now I had to be positive just get rid of negativity in my mind . I will have to work hard to achieve my goad to study hard to get pass in exams n score good marks . n make my parents teacher happy n feel them proud . i thought as in world every people has their own stories they all r not happy as they had their own problems n troubles yet the find better solutions to their problem they trying to be happy instead of  complaining god . they enjoyed wad they have in life they r still very satisfied with their life they didn’t compare to others they remained happily with themselves they de y r alive make themselves to work hard as they had to live they had to survive as life goes flawless they also had to move with it as trying changes us a lot .even were could not identifies what was we had now wad we have n den what will be . we all know tad we have to life may be in future we got some reasons to be happy . n den I said myself until I am alive I do my responsibility n do my best in my field n make my parents n teachers n peoples always happy . because happiness is a key to success and laughter is d best medicine.. be happy be good be natural n love d world u have love d god n always thinks in positive way which makes u feel good every time . den I said them bye as I had to go home but that I got a lesson from life n I learned it n I gave them thanks n after reaching home I apologise n said sorry to parents they felt tad I was regretting n now i became a good gal who understands them n listen them carefully they got good signed by me. N after that I focussed my studies n after that next exam I scored good marks in half yearly exams oh god I had done it my heart says to me d environment has totally changed my parents appreciates me mom n dad do not stops as they were continuously praising me same teachers praised me  I felt happy to listen tad complements as I thought tad I god  aaladin ka chirag which completely changed my situation . I  pray to god that I wished d same please support me by giving your blessings as u give me now thanks to u. 2 exams r left so I will have to do more better than dis so I have to enhanced my capability n ability to do so and  after tad I ran into the park searching that old couple . I was wait there n finally I find them they met me in opposite side of park they buying butter n bread from canteen as campus includes canteen too . I approached them and touch their feet they got surprised to see me n den I said to them u inspired me in my life they asked what r u saying beta we didn’t get it n den I smiled n said your story influenced on me as I inspired through it . I learned from u how to live in a very bad n sad situation life instead of complaining of god that what didn’t have we should make us satisfied what we have same time if we have to live to makes others happy n gave them good lessons in life
they laughed at me and their eyes suddenly full of tears they said their time get passed to talk with me . they put her hand on my head to give their blessings n said tad u r good enough to took positivity from us n den they smiled n I also..

That day I I got though dis experience which was very  heart touching for me .

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